NEWS AT 11…

NEKST NEWS STORY

Found this one surfing the web today…

PERSUE’ AND RIME IN CHINA from Mr Goose on Vimeo.

AND CHECK OUT MY MAN PERSUE’S NEW BLOG AT…

http://www.itsbunnykitty.blogspot.com/

My friends at UNDERGROUND PRODUCTIONS out in FINLAND were nice enough to send me a copy of their latest issue… Its definitely a great issue worth checking out with loads of photos and interviews, particularly the feature on Chicago my man KC contributed on… But one thing in particular really blew me away. Apparently that perfume manufacturer “BOUDICCA” has made a new fragrance that is “graffiti inspired”…?
-its packaged in a spray can and has the scent of raw opium! -whats more, apparently when you spray it on your body it initially has the appearance of blue paint, which eventually fades… according to the designer “Graffiti is the modern war-paint, and the most prolific of all art forms, While seeping in rebellion and anti-establishment values”
-yeah, what he said…

-check out the video at…

http://www.boudiccawode.com/

AUGOR’s site is now up and running… check out LA’s dark prince at…

http://augsdraws.com/

THE NEW ANTHEM FOR 2009!
-SO FUCKING BAD IT IS SOMEHOW KIND OF GOOD…

THANKS JANAE.

*******MEGA UPDATE!!!********

-VIDEO

WHOOA!…..

-SO HERE IT IS… TRIBE’S TELEVISION DEBUT RECAP AS TOLD BY VH1.COM.

-what was i thinking when i said nothing worth watching is on tv now days…

Nikki is introduced by John as “Nikki…Tribe…something.”

Something, indeed. Nikki informs us that she got her implants to deter her from scaling buildings that continuing a career in graffiti, which landed her in jail, would have required. I guess cutting her own hands off would have been too difficult. Anyway, Nikki Tribe Something has her own song for Bret. She couldn’t bother to memorize it, but that works out for everyone. For you see, everyone can find amusement in the fact that she reads it off of STD fact sheets…

She seems completely unaware of this. But then, she seems completely unaware, period. Maybe she just has this information lying around like it’s nothing? What place is there for shame on Rock of Love, anyway? Nikki Tribe Something’s rap, by the way, includes the lines, “I can’t believe I’m here telling you this / I know what you’re looking for, not a fake-ass bitch…” She’s cut off like pee in gonorrhea-stricken urethra.

When rearranging necessitates taking some bags out to fit them in, Nikki Tribe Something starts freaking out about her Louis Vuitton bag. She becomes angry at Natasha, who’s spearheading the luggage reorganization initiative.

Natasha is shocked at Nikki’s reaction, since she doesn’t even know what’s going on. Natasha concludes from this that Nikki is on drugs and in need of medication. So she needs drugs on top of her drugs? That sounds about right, per the Rock of Love School of Pharmacology. Dr. Drew, stay far, far away.

We cut to Nikki Tribe Something, assuring us that everything she takes is “legal.”

…could someone tell Nikki Tribe Something that this isn’t Bret?

Y’know, at this point, I shouldn’t be surprised, and yet, no panties gets me every time.

Since this is a special occasion, with Bret being there and all, Nikki wonders what she can do with her test-tube shot. She also explains that she’s very horny and hasn’t been with a guy in months because, “I had a girlfriend. I thought this girlfriend thing was gonna work out because whatever.”

This is seriously her most articulate explanation of anything yet. Also, she sounds a little like littleloca.

In case you had any doubt, necessity breeds invention. And, perhaps, bacteria. For you see, what Nikki and Gia decide to do can only be described on air in a serious of reaction shots.

You know when the seemingly unskeevable Bret Michaels is taken aback, extreme human behavior is underway. Marcia uses a Portuguese word to explain what happened and concludes by saying, “You do not serve shots from [Portuguese word].” Let’s just say that in this scene, Gia didn’t get her tubes tied — she added to them and Nikki drank from her bounty. And by bounty, I mean vagina.

So that’s kind of show-stopping, and yet it goes on! Heather decides to leave and slips as she’s approaching the door. Since she’s eliminated in this episode (spoiler!) and doesn’t do much else, she really will be known as the girl who fell from now on. Whatever, at least she can take solace that her claim to fame doesn’t have to be described in Portuguese to be appropriate for cable television.

The best thing about this is that Nikki Tribe Something never gets in on the action. She stands there going, “Wait…” She’s great with test tubes but all-thumbs when it comes to fiveway kisses. Weird!

The most notable thing early on at this elimination is how plastered Nikki Tribe Something is.

It’s really fantastic watching her irritate the silicone off Taya.

Bret gravely addresses the group, telling the girls that there is “an absolute urgency” to what they’re doing. Seriously, after lacking in it for seven months, pop culture needs Rock of Love! Anyway, because of this urgency (which I guess means “lack of time”), elimination is going to go a little differently than it has in the past. Bret calls the names of seven girls — Marci, Stephanie, Gia, Heather, Nikki, Brittaney, and Marcia. He tells the remaining 13 that they’re safe and to board the buses.

Nikki, meanwhile, is a mess who’s becoming messier.

Bret says that he needs someone who’s strong enough, fun enough, outgoing enough and grounded enough to hang, implying that these girls are not that. Sad, but what can you do? Rock and roll is an unforgiving beast and reality TV is much, much worse.

Nikki has a breakdown and eventually has to be escorted from set.

I know how she feels. Notgonlieahmrealgonmissherok?

Burp.

-THE END.